Monday, December 8, 2008

Public Service Announcement

I have a very important issue I'd like to discuss with you.

You can wear a dress and not be dressy.  

In other words, it is acceptable to wear a dress even if you're not trying to look fancy.  Quite the contrary really.  Dresses today (as opposed to back in MY day) are made of cotton and feel like tee shirts.  It's phenomenal really.  Now that it's chilly, just throw on a pair of nubby tights or leggings, throw on some boots and you're good to go.

The more you know!

Friday, November 7, 2008


Is it weird to want to hang a framed picture of the president in your home?  Is it like too worshipy or monarchical?  My grandmother had a framed picture of the local news weather team and everyone was pretty cool with it.  I wouldn't mind an Obama family portrait either.  They're just so warm and pleasant seeming.  I could totally see them coming over to my house for pot pie and Seinfeld reruns, couldn't you?  It's my dream, sir.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

So excited

I can hardly contain myself.  It looks very promising for tonight and I'm going to be SO proud of this country if Barack wins.  A bluegrass band was playing Bob Marley and tunes like This Land is Your Land at the polls this morning, and I know it's cheesy but I almost cried.  You bet your ass I'll cry tonight.  I've never been a patriotic person but I think I just might become one tonight. America America this is YOU!

This is real and not for play
I'mma vota Obama way
We Hood
We Votin'
And throwing it up!
And throwing it up!

Friday, September 5, 2008


For quite awhile I truly believed some friends and I invented dessert sushi.  Then I googled it and realized that several other people had also "invented" dessert sushi.  We came up with it one very late and drunken night in 2004 or whereabouts.  One of my husband's old roomates had just introduced the rest of us to the concept of dessert sandwiches and oh my gosh, they were delicious.  Imagine the kinds of fillings you'd find in a dessert crepe, put them between two slices of Wonder Bread, and grill. 

After this 3am culinary adventure, we started brainstorming other foods that look like dinner but taste like dessert.  Likewise, we also discussed foods that look like dessert but taste like dinner.  Of all the inventions we came up with that night, dessert sushi and dessert nachos were the most attainable, but dessert sushi seemed like the most fun so I made it for an upcoming party.   It contained the following:

1 box of green apple fruit roll ups.
strawberries, sliced
cream cheese icing.

Directions: Smear a 1/8 inch layer of icing on fruit roll up.  Place sliced strawberries in a single row atop icing.  Roll like sushi, slice into bite size pieces.  Serve with chocolate syrup (it's like soy sauce! get it?) if desired.

Other ideas that have yet to come into fruition: 
Dessert hotdog
Dinner twinkie

The sushi wasn't terribly yummy, but it looked cool.  This website has some other variations of dessert sushi, all of which look prettier than mine but probably taste even worse:

Thursday, September 4, 2008

early birds

I always start thinking about Halloween in January. Always.  It stems from traumatic Halloweens as a little kid where I had crappy costumes and my best friend, whose mom is a stitch wizard, had unbelievable ones.  We'd go trick or treating and she would be dressed as something incredible like Garfield or an oboe (very realistic! with keys and holes and everything!) and I would be wearing my mom's gardening clothes with a pillow stuffed down my shirt and charcoal smeared on my face.  Terrible costumes I also had: a dead lady, a pair of pants, a baby (lame!), and  Juan Valdez.  The pair of pants ended up looking as if I was dressed as a giant piece of turd.  

Most years since then I start thinking about Halloween very early in the year.   I get these really clever ideas for costumes way early, and by the time Halloween rolls around I have plum forgotten what those funny/interesting/timely costume ideas were.  I need to start writing them down.  As it is already September, and therefore not insane to be thinking about Halloween, here are a few ideas:

1) Idea: a Chinese gymnast.  Execution: Chinese looking warmup suit (because I ain't wearing no leotard out in public), hair in pig tails, blacked out front teeth so it looks like I've lost my baby teeth, gold medal around neck.

2) Idea: Corporate Robot.  Execution: Business suit, aluminum foil buttons and gears sticking out of my back, walk like a robot, talk like a robot, carry a sensible yet stylish purse/laptop case filled with screws and nails and random scraps of metal.  Pretend to secretly eat the metal.  Look sheepish as if embarrassed to be caught eating metal and therefore found out to be a robot.  Disclosure: this idea was ripped off from a friend of a friend who apparently (i wasn't there, but heard legends) wore a suit with an ape mask and ape hands and carried a briefcase filled with bananas.  He would drop the briefcase during the party and spill his bananas everywhere and then scoop them up quickly as if humiliated.  

3) Idea: Not a costume but a pumpkin idea.  It's a Jackie O'Lantern.  Has this been done before? I'm sure it has.  I don't have the artistic chops to pull off a Jackie O'Lantern but perhaps I can enlist some help from someone with the necessary fine motor skills.